CHECKLIST
The checklist
is a great way to make sure you have completed all the proper paperwork Missing paperwork can and will delay your
wedding. WeddingChecklist.pdf
or WeddingChecklist.htm
MARRIAGE PREPARATION PROCESS
Wedding Fees
Church
Before a date can be held, a $500 church fee must be
paid. This fee also covers the cost of
the parish marriage preparation process. Your check should be made out to Saint
Vincent Ferrer. This fee is non-refundable.
Music
Our Director of Worship is contractually obligated to
provide music for weddings; he must be in attendance at every wedding. He is to
be paid his contractual stipend of $150; should the Director be requested to
provide both instrumentals and vocals, the stipend is $300.
Wedding Coordinators . . .
A Wedding Coordinator will be assigned to you two
months from your wedding day and will call you. Your
coordinator will run your wedding
rehearsal. Your wedding coordinator will
be at church one hour before your wedding time to make sure that everything
runs smoothly. The Wedding Coordinator fee
is $100 (minimum). Please pay your
Wedding Coordinator directly at the first meeting.
1st Meeting Choreographing the Wedding
- head usher -- competency and age.
- processional names
- rows reserved for seating
- payment for coordinator and servers
- marriage license--unless already at parish office
2nd Meeting The Rehearsal
- enter at east door by courtyard planter. This is the SE corner of the church building.
- bring programs
3rd Meeting The Wedding Day
- church open 1/2 hour before
- on supply to guide head usher
- closes out at designated time. Head usher last to leave.
Altar Servers
-
Two altar servers will be assigned to your wedding to
assist the Priest. The stipend is $10
(minimum) per server. Please give your
Wedding Coordinator the money for the altar servers at the time of your first
meeting.
Minimum Total Fees: $850.00
Non-Member Donation Welcome
SVF makes no financial distinction between members and non- members. Couples using SVF who ar not members are encouraged to help SVF maintain its church. (The parish does have debts.) The $500 base fee is not deductible. Any donation given to SVF beyond this fee is a tax deductible gift. Doubling for non-members is appropriate. SVF lives from the generosity of those who use her ministries.
Invite the Poor:
Jesus often refers to heaven as the eternal wedding feast. All are welcome to the great and wonderful feast. The poor may not be in church or at our wedding table; but they can be on the invitation list of day.
More and more couples are giving a donation to the poor in their name. Many have favorite charities they mention to their guests requesting no gifts be brought. Some couples have a card on the banquet table stating that a donation has been made to a designated charity in your name.
Invite the poor to your wedding. On your day of beauty and bounty, remember all God's people. Christ, the Eternal Bridegroom, is so proud of us.
Tithing your wedding is acceptable:
Are wedding fees on a sliding scale? At present our printed fees are all very clear and most base. The $500 fee for either member or non-member is most modest. Fees for servers, music ministries, etc are suggested rates from the Archdiocese. There has been no need for a sliding scale at SVF.
So what is tithing? It is a percentage of a total amount. The scriptural amount is 10%. This is also referred to biblically as stewardship. It is giving to the Lord from the top and not the left over amount. Many dioceses and parishes are quickly moving to tithing in the Roman Catholic Church. (Most fundamentalist faiths already have tithing; some as high as 18%.)
An average wedding cost in the USA is about $30,000. The average SVF parish wedding is at least twice if not four times this amount. By tithing the wedding amount, the couple can give to the Lord as part of the blessing of the wedding day. This is a radically different approach from present thinking of "paying" for something. It is a gift returned to the Lord who has already given to us.
Couples who tithe their wedding can have the gift identified as tax deductible. Fees and stipends cannot be made tax deductible.
Previous Marriages
If one of you has been married before, please talk to the
priest immediately for what church tribunal services may be needed. The
Catholic Church recognizes the marriages of non-Catholics as valid. If your
fiancée is not a Catholic, their previous marriage in another church or even a
simple court ceremony may require a Catholic Church annulment or a declaration
of nullity. To determine the validity of a previous marriage, call the Priest
assigned to your wedding. If an annulment is needed, you will be asked to make
an appointment with the Priest to begin the annulment process. The granting of
annulments generally takes about 18 months in this Archdiocese.
Second Marriage for Either Spouses
The norms of the National Council of Catholic Bishops ask for a more simple and modest service if:
A) either the Bride OR Groom were previously married
B) The wedding being blessed by the Church is already a civil union. This is called either a convalidation OR validation.
Wedding Times
The times of scheduled weddings at St. Vincent
Ferrer Church
are Saturdays at 1:00 pm. And at 3:00 pm. Weddings can also be scheduled on
Sundays at 3:00 pm.
(NOTE: Weddings are not restricted to just the
weekends. Weddings are also permitted at
any scheduled Mass during the week or the weekend.)
Weddings are not normally scheduled during the Lenten season – between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday – or on certain other Church
feasts. Lenten weddings have strict restrictions.
Meetings with a Member of the Marriage Ministry Team
The marriage preparation program at St.
Vincent Ferrer Church
will consist of approximately five or six meetings with a member of the staff.
After you initially contact the parish office expressing interest in
celebrating your wedding at St. Vincent Ferrer, you will be contacted by one of
our priests to arrange to meet at the parish office at a mutually convenient
time. Because your time of preparation will also include programs outside the
parish, such as a Pre-Cana day or Discovery Weekend, it is important
that you allow yourselves a full year to benefit the most from these sessions.
Your lives are very busy at this point, yet it is important that you devote
time to talking about and thinking about being emotionally and spiritually
ready to make the serious commitment that you want your marriage to be.
Marriage preparation meetings consist of one couple and a
priest, deacon, or either a ministering couple and are completely confidential.
They are based on mutual respect and trust.
DOCUMENTS REQUIRED
Marriage License
Your marriage at St. Vincent Ferrer is also a legal civil
union. You must obtain a marriage license from the Cook County Clerk to
be legally married here. The license should be obtained not more than 60 days
before the wedding. Once the license has been procured, drop it off at the
church office. It must be on file before the rehearsal begins. A priest or
deacon violates the law if he witnesses a marriage without the license.
Both of you must apply in person for the license. Proper
proof of identification and age are required, and there is a cash-only fee to
apply. For locations see http://www.cookctyclerk.com/sub/marriage_licenses.asp
For our Western Suburbs the nearest one is at 1311 Maybrook Square, Room 109, Maywood, IL 60153, (708) 865-6010 Hours: 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday; 8:30 a.m. to 7 p.m. Wednesday.
Religious Documents
Catholics: Six months before your wedding date, please
request a newly issued baptismal certificate from the church in which you were
baptized. To obtain a newly issued
baptismal certificate, call or write the parishes at which each of you have
received this sacrament
and ask them to mail you a newly issued certificate.
A confirmation
certificate. This can be your original certificate. If
you do not have verification of confirmation, contact the church where you were
confirmed for a new certificate.
Non-Catholics:
the original or a copy of the baptismal certificate (if they were baptized)
from the church in which you were baptized - this does not have to be newly
issued. We will make a copy of it for our records and return it to you.
WEDDING PLANNING WORKSHOP
This workshop is scheduled about 4 times a year. All couples will need to use this resource to plan the Roman Catholic wedding sacrament of matrimony. Sessions begin in the parish center and finish in the church. The rite, with all options for readings, music, processions, etc is presented at this workshop.
The workshop is very specific to SVF. There is a planning video. Pictures of SVF weddings are used. Music options are presented in the church. All questions regarding the ceremony will be answered by the end of this session.
The next dates are:
Thursday, May 15, 2008, at 7 pm
Thursday, Aug. 7, 2008, at 7 pm
To register for these workshops, simply call the parish offices. The receptionist can sign you up over the phone. For most couples the sooner this is done, the less anxiety they feel. Others are welcome to come—mothers, wedding planners, etc—but they need to register as well.
LITURGICAL RITE
The Wedding Liturgy
in the Roman Catholic Rite
At a Catholic wedding, the bride and the groom are the
ministers of the Sacrament. It is in their consent to freely give themselves to
one another and in their vows to make of their love a life-long commitment that
God is present with them in each other. The priest or deacon is present only as
the Church’s official witness who presides at the ceremony and blesses the
couple in their new life together.
Bride and
Groom are both Practicing Catholics
In the tradition of the Catholic Church, the exchange of
vows between two Catholics is to take place within the context of the Mass.
A priest presides over the Mass.
(If one partner is Catholic only, not being catechized or communed, the wedding
is not the time for First Communion. The marriage rite outside of Mass, not a
Mass, would be more appropriate in this situation.)
One Party
not Catholic / not practicing
If one of the parties is not Catholic, the marriage rite
outside of Mass is the prescribed norm. This offers the couple being married
the opportunity to join the two families together at the wedding liturgy
without fear of excluding members of the congregation who would not be invited
to Communion. A deacon or priest may witness this rite. The paperwork for this process has dispensations that your arranging clergy will take care of.
SCRIPTURAL READINGS
For a selection of scriptural readings please follow this link to: Scriptural Readings for Weddings.htm
Other useful online websites for wedding planning are:
Your Wedding in the Catholic Church (provided by the diocese of Green Bay, WI) and
Wedding Readings (from our Dominican parish, St. Dominic's in San Francisco).
MUSIC
All music during the wedding Mass or ceremony must be sacred
in nature, reflecting the sacrament that is to take place, and must mirror the
action that is occurring. Secular songs or “pop” songs may be permissible only
as prelude before the Mass/service, and only after approval by the Director of
Worship. Songs that speak of love in a physical or sensual manner are strictly
not permitted. Please note that, if the Director is unfamiliar with a requested
song, it is the couple’s responsibility to provide sheet music (with piano
accompaniment) of that song, for both approval and possible use.
If there is a song that has special meaning to a couple
(“our song”), it is better presented at the wedding reception. There its
importance can be noted and appreciated by all present.
Musicians
Our Director of Worship is contractually obligated to
provide music for weddings; he must be in attendance at every wedding with the
appropriate fee. (see fees)
Guest
Musicians
The Worship Office reserves the right to approve the
participation of any individual guest musicians. The invitation of guest
musicians is the responsibility of the Worship Office, not the couple.
There are a number of accomplished area musicians able to
provide instrumental embellishment for weddings (trumpet, flute, violin, etc.);
our Office of Worship will contact and secure desired instrumentalists.
However, guest instrumentalists are contracted separately, and each musician is
free to set their own fee.
Our Director of Worship can provide instrumentals, vocals,
or both for the ceremony. Additional guest vocalists are permitted, provided
they are familiar with Catholic wedding liturgy and music. The Director of
Worship will be available to rehearse music with guest soloists (vocal and
instrumental) one hour prior to the ceremony. Any additional rehearsal that is
required will be charged at a rate of $50.00 per half-hour, and must be paid
for at the time of rehearsal. Music
rehearsals take place outside of the wedding rehearsal.
NOTE – It is the experience of the Director of Worship that
asking a family member whose musical experience is limited often becomes a
traumatic event for that person. St. Vincent Ferrer Parish is an intimidating
space that can challenge even professional musicians. Just because someone
sings does not mean they are capable of providing music for a wedding. Please
consider this carefully before requesting Worship Office approval of a guest
musician.
Sound System
The SVF sound system is good. Gueat musicians must work with the existing system. NO auxiliary systems are to be used. No plug-in instruments or amplifications are to be used.
MUSIC FOR THE ENTIRE WEDDING RITE
PRELUDE
Music before the
wedding Mass or ceremony; one or two vocal selections presented from the
piano/cantor ambo at the front of the church. This indicates to the assembly
that the ceremony is about to begin, and establishes a prayerful mood. There is
some latitude in the music that may be chosen for the prelude. However, it is
preferred that prelude music – and song lyrics – be reflective of the sacred
nature of what is about to occur. Our Worship Director will present you with
several options for the prelude.
PROCESSIONAL
Music
that accompanies the wedding party as they enter and walk down the aisle.
This is one continuous piece of music that is embellished as the bride enters;
it does not change to another selection.
GATHERING
SONG (optional)
Sung by the entire
assembly after the Processional. Friends and family in attendance are there
to celebrate a joyful day, and nothing accompanies joy like singing. Gather
Comprehensive, the service book found in the pews, contains many selections
that are appropriate for this moment. There are also a number of hymns that are
not found in Gather and could be used, providing their lyrics are
reprinted in the program. Our Worship Director can present a number of options
that will be familiar to most in attendance.
RESPONSORIAL
PSALM
Sung
after the First Reading. This is a selection from the Book of Psalms, and must
always be sung, never read. Technically, it could be any one of the 150 psalms
in Scripture, but some psalms are more fitting for a wedding ceremony than
others. Psalm 128 is uniquely appropriate at a wedding, as it is a blessing for
a newlywed couple. Again, our Worship Director will present you with choices
that are appropriate.
The words for the
psalm refrain must be reprinted in the wedding program, to assist the
assembly in participation.
GOSPEL
ACCLAMATION
The “alleluia” sung as
the assembly stands for the proclaiming of the Gospel. This will be the “Celtic Alleluia,” as it is a setting that is widely known, and will lend
itself to participation by the assembly.
PREPARATION OF THE GIFTS
(Masses only)
Music
that accompanies the presentation of the bread and wine by gift-bearers of the
couple’s choosing. This is a brief moment that is best accompanied
by an instrumental selection. (The instrumental reprise of an earlier melody
would be most appropriate, as would the playing of the melody of the Sanctus.)
SANCTUS - MEMORIAL
ACCLAMATION – GREAT AMEN – LAMB OF GOD (Masses only)
Music
that accompanies the Eucharistic Prayer and the breaking of the bread.
The “Mass of Creation” setting by Marty Haugen is perhaps
the most familiar to Catholics nationwide, and should be recognizable to most
assemblies. Using this setting is more a matter of hospitality than musical
taste; an assembly feels encouraged to sing if the music is familiar, and a singing
assembly is essential in creating a prayerful atmosphere.
COMMUNION (Masses
only)
Music that accompanies
the distribution of the Eucharist.
Songs and hymns that sing of sharing the Body and Blood of
Christ are required here. Once again, to encourage the participation of the
assembly, a song with a simple, recurring refrain is best at this time. If a
large number in attendance is anticipated, one song with multiple verses is
adequate; there should be no need for a second song.
The words to the communion
refrain must be reprinted in the program, to assist the assembly in
participation.
CUSTOMS AND
TRADITIONS
A unity candle, the Prayer to the Blessed Virgin, exchanging
flowers with family members, and other cultural customs are not part of the
Roman Rite. Should couples desire them, please follow the following…
1) Any of the above would take place before the concluding
prayer.
2) The use of one of these elements is best covered by one song that reflects
the action that is occurring ("Ave Maria” for the Prayer to the Virgin, a
song celebrating “two becoming one” for the Unity Candle, etc.).
3) The inclusion of two or more of these elements is best
covered by an instrumental selection, not a sung medley of vocal selections.
(Example; “Ave Maria” would be appropriate for the Prayer to the Virgin, but
has nothing to do with a Unity Candle and its symbolism: best to select one
vocal that becomes an instrumental during the unrelated action.)
RECESSIONAL
The music that
accompanies the wedding party’s exit from the Church.
A vibrant, festive moment that is best reflected in an
exuberant organ work, or a lively, uplifting vocal piece. Again, our Director
of Worship will present a number of possibilities.
STATISTICS ON MARRIAGE
Couples that are married by a Justice of the Peace: 50% of marriages end in divorce.
Couples married by the Church: 33% of marriages end in divorce.
Couples married by the Church and attend Church together: 2% end in divorce.
Couples using Natural Family Planning (NFP): 2-5% end in divorce.
Couples married by the Church, pray together and use NFP: .001-1% end in divorce.
FAQ
These rules are fine, but my wedding has special circumstances. Do they pertain to my wedding?
Yes. Everything done here is to accommodate the sanctity of the Roman Rite of Matrimony, recognizing that the bride and groom are active ministers of that rite. It is not done unto them. Before the Second Vatican Council the theology of marriage was seen as "done unto." The other major factor is sheer volume of weddings. We have seven ordained on staff, plus four wedding coordinators with a great openness to guest clergy. To minister well the member and non-member volume here at SVF, we need a level playing field.
How long does it take to prepare to be married in a Catholic Church?
One year is a good window of time. Six months is what the
NCCB (National Council of Catholic Bishops) says as minimum. At six months it
is very difficult to meet the preparation requirements for some couples.
What kind of paperwork is needed?
For a couple who both are active Catholics, a sacrament form
is filled out in the first meeting. The couple needs to secure updated
baptismal certificates dated in a six-month time of the wedding. These
baptismal certificates have all the sacramental life of the person noted on
the back.
Can a Catholic marry a non-Catholic?
Yes, Catholics are allowed to marry non-Catholics,
non-Christians, and un-catechized people. However, a Dispensation from the
Bishop is required. The priest will apply for this Dispensation.
When is a wedding with or without a Mass?
If the bride and the groom are active participating
Catholics, there will be a Mass with the Roman Wedding Rite. If only the bride
or groom is Catholic, there is no Mass.
If both are Catholic but only one practices, there is no Mass.
Can we get married Catholic at a church of different faith?
Yes. For this to happen, the couple needs the same Catholic
preparation as would any other couple. For the marriage to happen the couple
still need a priest or deacon to apply for the dispensation from the bishop.
The Wedding Rite is done then by the minister of that faith. The wedding is
recorded in the Catholic Church.
NB: A Catholic wedding means Catholic
documentation, not the Catholic building.
In a mixed religion wedding, are other ministers of other
faiths welcome into the Catholic Rite?
Yes, the priest or deacon does the Rite. The guest clergy is
present and offers a blessing at the conclusion of the Rite. However, it is
never concelebrated.
Are other priests or deacons welcome to St.
Vincent Ferrer Church
for weddings?
The parish is obligated to supply a priest or a deacon from
the parish staff. Guest clergy in good standings can be given permission by the
pastor. This is never presumed or imposed. If given, St.
Vincent Ferrer Church
norms and guidelines are still observed.
How do we ask for a particular priest or deacon for the ceremony?
If it is one of the seven ordained clergy on the SVF staff, simply ask them. They know our office scheduling procedures. If it is someone outside the parish, check their schedule of availability. Get their address and phone number. Give that information to the pastor. He'll contact them and provide the written delegation need for the rite. Do this early in the process of marriage/wedding preparations.
What about guest musicians?
The parish worship office supplies music ministry for all
weddings (and funerals). Permission for a guest musician, whom is qualified in
Church music, may be given by the pastor. If given, this would be a song or
hymn. The St. Vincent Ferrer
Church staff and main minister of
music are present doing the majority of the music.
Can someone get married at St.
Vincent Ferrer Church
even if they are being prepared in another state or diocese?
Yes, when this does happen it becomes very involved.
Resources of wedding and marriage options in the state diocese must be compared
and worked through. Clergy being put in touch with each other is the best route
for this. Please plan ahead, this
process will take some extra time.
What about a bride and a groom living in different states? Where should
they prepare?
Marriage preparation only is designed to work with the bride
and the groom in the same place at the same time. Marriage work needs to be set
up with the couple's challenging schedule. The Catholic legal paperwork-- there
is much--needs to be done and it works best in the parish in which the wedding
will happen.
Can anyone get married at St. Vincent
Ferrer Church?
No, because St. Vincent
Ferrer Church
is a Roman Catholic Church, either the bride or the groom must be Catholic. The
Wedding Rite is a sacrament. This is not merely a building for rent. Being
Catholic means a frequent relationship in the weekly life of the Catholic
Church.
What about not being a member of St. Vincent
Ferrer Church?
Membership means the parishioner has a membership number. If
the bride or groom is not members and desire marriage at St.
Vincent Ferrer Church,
they will need a letter from their pastor giving St.
Vincent Ferrer Church
jurisdiction to witness the wedding.
OTHER RELATED GUIDELINES
Photographers and Videographers please view the brochure: Photogaphy and Videography Guidelines.
Below is an agreement regarding photography and video norms of the parish. Please print a copy. It must be signed and returned to the
Worship Office. photovideoagreement.pdf
Florists please view the brochure Florest Guidelines. Below are guidelines regarding florist norms of the parish. The following are NOT permitted at Church, but may be worthy of the wedding reception: An aisle runner of any material. Candelabras, either table-sized, floor-standing or mounted on pews. Additional pedestals, pillars, etc. Taffeta or “roping” that blocks entrance to any pew. Trellises, portcullises, arches, etc. Strings of electric (“twinkle”) lights, trees, etc. Any elements placed or scattered upon the altar. Any elements placed or scattered in the aisle (petals, confetti, glitter, balloons, etc.). Any elements outside the church. Also, please note that rice, confetti, popcorn, birdseed or any other substance may not be thrown outside or inside the church; soap bubbles are not permitted. Florists must sign and return the following instruction/agreement. floristagreement.pdf
Children in the Wedding Party
Having children in the wedding party, as
flower girls or ring bearers, can be a negative experience for the little ones.
This is often too much pressure on a child. If children are in the procession,
they may be placed with an adult and may be seated during the ceremony. Usually
seven years or older is a safe age for realistic expectations.
WEDDING PLANNING SHEETS
The following links are to help with the planning of the
wedding rehearsal.
Catholic Wedding Scripture Selections: This will help you select appropriate Scripture readings weddingreadings.htm
Wedding Planning
sheet: This sheet will help plan the
wedding ceremony. This is a must
have!
rcweddingrite.pdf
Prayers of the
Faithful template: If you choose to write your own Prayers of the Faithful,
this is a good template to use. POFWedding.pdf
Hassle Free Rehearsal
Sheet: This sheet will help with the
last minute preparations for the wedding rehearsal and for the day of the
wedding. HassleFreeRehearsal.pdf
Wedding Procession
Options: This sheet will help you
organize your wedding processional.
proc.pdf
Wedding Couple
Placement During Rite: This sheet will help you visualize your placement where
everything will take place during the wedding. choreography.pdf
Head Usher Job
Description: When you meet with your
wedding coordinator, you will have to pick somebody to be your head usher. This does not have to be somebody in the
wedding party. This person should be
very responsible. headusher.pdf
Visiting Presider
Form: Visiting Priests are allowed
at St. Vincent Ferrer. However, proper
paperwork needs to be filled out in order for this to happen. The visiting presider MUST follow all of the
guidelines that we have in place here at St. Vincent Ferrer. Please consult with the priest/deacon that is
assigned to your wedding. presiderform.pdf
Budget Wedding: A very good secular article on how to save money on
your wedding. BudgetWeddings.htm
Wedding Text- Ode to Joy: This text would is in the tune of “Ode to
Joy” and would be a wonderful selection for a Gathering Hymn. weddingode2joy.htm